Well, terrible at being rich is what i think i meant. When i woke up this morning i did my usual routine, shit, shower and shave. When i dress it's usually, pants, white under shirt, socks, boots and button shirt. But, between the socks and boots, sitting on the bed, there is always a pause i take to contemplate the day that has passed and the day ahead of me. It lasts anywhere from 5 seconds to a minute.
This morning i chose that moment to think about what would be different if i was a rich man. You know what the best i could come up with was? Never setting an alarm again. Its weird too cause, i don't have a loud alarm and most of the time i'm awake a minute before it rings. It's what the alarm means, i think, is what weighs heaviest upon me. So many things are summed up on that alarm. From the clothes i'm picking out to the lunch i'll eat later. Not to mention the roof over my head, the bed i slept on and the TV i'll be watching later. The alarm represents the need a rich man doesn't have.
I don't have a problem with working, far from it, i enjoy having something to do. But, it's the having to do it part that bothers me i think. There's times when i wake up 2 hours earlier than my alarm and my only thought is "i have 2 hours to try and get more rest". I wonder what it would be like to just get up, do something, get sleepy and go back to sleep. Wake up later and do what i want. That's something a rich person can do. An unemployed person can do the same, i suppose, if you want to be a dick about it.But, that was the first thing i thought about. Nothing extravagant, nothing surreal, not even something unique. Yes i thought about traveling, paying off things and buying things. But, sensible things. A house, one for my mother, a few cars and just taking care of my family. No tigers, blimps or a person to hunt for sport. Not a even a harem of women to wake me up every morning. I've been a poor bastard for so long that the only thing i need is to be left alone and wake up on my own time.