I've been thinking about my writing, specifically about all the stuff I am purposely leaving unpublished so that there will be some longevity to my work. There are a few easter eggs out there now that I'm carefully placing in the hands of the right people. I would hate for an editor to just go through my journals and find the ones that I didn't put out on purpose just to ruin my good name, or whatever will be left of it a decade after my demise. I am ensuring that should there be a publication it will be a good one, one that I endorse now, decades before anyone even thinks of it. Though by then I hope to have empowered an editor to make the right decisions when going through those journals and making the right word choices to make those poems able to be published. I'm trust she will make the right decisions for me. It's something weighing heavily on my mind, because I am not writing enough poems. I plan a trip in the incoming year to take a few months to just write, I mean to finally live the writers life, no job just writing. This will be difficult seeing as I like to eat and booze it up, but i'll cross that bridge when I get there, i'll be fine I predict. YOLO!!
I'm just fucking around, I just thought of that right now, I thought it was funny. If you didn't it doesn't matter, I giggled. All of the above is all made up hahahaha.
So it's been over half a year since I left Miami and I finally feel like I've got a groove together, things are looking up. I have moved up the ladder in my job, not to the top but definitely half way there if not right below the half way mark, but moving up not down.
My writing progresses but I am not putting up as much of my work online as I used to, no particular reason but I started doing it to just see what would happen. So, it was never with a reason, I just had never done it and it made sense at the time. My buddy Juan made all the good points to be honest, he made too much sense. I miss my friend Juan. He's not dead or anything, we're just not in the same state, don't worry he's fine. Or is he? I did finally get the paperback for The Descent Begins... I just don't know what to do with the copies, I don't know how to put them out there, but lowkey I like having that problem.
Speaking of my friend Juan, I miss our fireside rum fueled chats, so I am very close to introducing new ones with a friend I have made here. I am excited about them but don't want to jump the gun, I am still me after all and refuse to put out a product I am unhappy with. We're working on our groove and rhythm, but we're getting there. Juan, if you are reading this, it's not you, it's me. You deserve better, you can do better, when you do you'll know I was right.
The Strip is nice but I tend to keep away from it, it's not my scene. The city itself is very friendly, welcoming and quiet for the most part. I recently started a new schedule at work and it kind of threw my daily routine out of whack for a minute, but i'll get used to the new one. I am healthier, happier and even more confident if that's possible. Things are good is what i'm saying, but I knew they would, I just needed a little time.
I'm sure this is not what she had in mind, but it's an update and she's right, I am losing too much of myself as I find more of myself, if that makes sense.
To be continued...
