The Moment

Jim was right, sometimes it feels like we just “trade in our hours for a handful of dimes”.  We work so hard for what little we have and yet keep working for even less after that.  Somewhere in it all we become complacent, drones really, and just keep bringing honey to the hive.  I like my job a lot, but it’s not a career.  The minute it stops being fun I’ll have no problem moving on.

There are days, though, where it just doesn’t make sense.  You know those days, left home early, came home late, paid your bills, filled your tank, stocked up on food for the week, caught a movie, had a drink and the account is now close to tapped.  Worst of all is when that day is the Monday after getting paid.  Yep, two whole weeks to budget all decisions concerning monetary happiness.  Can I just buy that?  Should I just buy that?  Now I remember what I needed?  Or do I just want it?

That’s the day you begin to reminisce about how you used to make half the money once and seemed to spend more than you do now.  Those carefree days when you shared rent, lived with the parents, or some of us let the government put a roof over our heads.  It seems it was so much more fun to work.  Funny thing about reminiscing is we only remember the deeply depressing stuff, or the over the top good shit, never the dull or mundane times when we were feeling just like this moment.

We can always look back at better times when times seem rough, but we forget that we made it through those moments to get to this one.  But we don’t look around and see there is so much more now than there were in those days.  Sometimes it’s surprising to look around and try to compare what we had to what we have.  When the fuck was I able to afford two TV’s in my old place?

Like Biggie said “Mo’ money, mo’ problems” and ain’t it the truth.  We come so close but always seem to fall short and I think the only time we’ve even touched the damn thing is when we’ve done something besides the job.  The “thing”, the “it”, is different for all of us, but we all know it’s there somewhere.  Sometimes we can describe it, sometimes someone has it, sometimes it almost feels made up and the only thing they all share is the moment we feel we’re near it or the moment when we’re sure we missed it.